eXtreme-Menu Value Meal! to the MaX!

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2003-09-17

“Oprah Winfrey's personal trainer, Bob Greene, can't remember the last time he visited a McDonald's.

Nor is he a particular fan of burgers.

But he is now a key part of McDonald's huge marketing campaign to convince customers that the fast-food chain is serious about offering healthier products.

Greene has signed on to help McDonald's launch its new Go Active Meal, a $4.99 adult version of the Happy Meal. It offers a salad and a bottle of water or a medium fountain drink. Customers also get a clip-on pedometer to encourage them to walk more.” – Chicago Tribune

Why would I walk into a McDonalds to order that? Except maybe to buy some kids "Go Active Meals" and watch them cry when they open up the boxes? No, McDonalds, everyone knows when you are taking fast corners in auto racing, you don’t let up on the gas, you step on it and go faster! Don’t wimp out! Embrace what you do so well! 110 percent!

AND SO HERE IS MY PROPOSAL TO TURN AROUND YOUR FALLING REVENUES:

The Deep Fried McGriddle and the Apple Pie with Ice Cream center meal! The apple pies come frozen anyway, so they could just have some ice cream in the center, right? They could call the fried McGriddles “eX-Treme McGriddles” or something. Part of the new eXtreme-Menu! And Ronald McDonald can do eXtreme sports in his commercials.

Oh look, he’s bungee jumping! Oh! He’s gonna fall in that volcano! Wait, he’s just dipping his McGriddle in it! And now the McGriddle is deep fried and eXtremely tasty! RAdiCal!

Ok, I’m really doing all the work for the McDonald Corporation here so you guys should just send me my check.

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