I Hate Hipsters

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2003-06-18

Sat. afternoon, riding my bike up Logan Blvd. I noticed two white guys in Karate clothes (giís?),out on the grass area that runs along the boulevard. They both had wooden staffs and were pretending to fight, like they were acting out a scene from a Kung Fu movie they liked, but really slow and clumsy. One guy even did a cartwheel in the middle of it. But really half-assed. I couldnít tell if they were slow because they were improvising it on the spot or because they were just slow? And they were in the grass in public. And it made me think about what it would take to get me out on the grass in front of everyone driving and walking by, in a karate outfit fake fighting. I think it would take a lot of money and the kidnapping and threat of death of people very close to me. Itís funny how something two people find fun would be horrifying to me. What is that? Is it just insecurity on my part? Anyway, Iím sick of you Hipsters with your martial arts, always at the bars in your karate outfits and shaggy hairstyles, doing fake fighting. Now you canít go into the Empty Bottle anymore without having to jump over guys doing judo on the floor, when all you want is a beer at the bar. And those jackets with their school/dojo patches with the skinny ties? They look dumb! God, first trucker hats and now martial arts and nun-chucks.

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