This Day In History: Thursday,March 02

*Congress creates the Territory of Nevada.

*A young, drunken Abe Lincoln and his friends beat actor Junius Brutus Booth for "looking at" them outside a whorehouse in Decauter. Young John Wilkes vows revenge.

*The first non-stop, around-the-world airplane flight is completed.

*When asked by his wife if he could ever forgive Benedict Arnold, General George Washington says, "I would rather eat a bagel in a shit storm!" and returns to reading his morning newspaper.

*Desi Arnaz, famous Cuban, bandleader is born.

*The Chinese invent Time Magazine.

*Speed Racer wins the 16th Grand Prix on Monster Island and the undying love of Evita Peron. Their relationship, as we all know, ends badly.

*Ronald Reagan invents the sandwich. What? No, you are wrong. I'm talking about the AMERCIAN SANDWICH!!!!

*Andrew is bored at work

*Apes take over the Earth.

previous next