My friend Jim, who was in town for a wedding, stayed over at my place this weekend and left yesterday. I came home last night and found that he had left a present that his moms, who lives here in Chicago, bought him. It's sort of a fancy silk Hawaiian shirt that's trying to be modern. Black, with geometric lines, like in Tron, with white outlined palm trees. Yeah. So he left it on my desk with the gift receipt, from a local store, pinned to it and a note to me. It said, "Dear Andrew, please return this and use it to pick something nice out for yourself. Thanks again. P.S. Do you feel like a whore now?" I think that really depends on how much his mom spent on the shirt.

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